Green New Deal and the Unicorn Caucus
There’s a barroom in the Bronx missing a serving wench. She went off to Congress to enact into law some of the more imaginative ideas she heard serving suds to know-it-alls at her bar.
That’s the only explanation for the Green New Deal, so called, the scheme birthed by Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to repeal nearly everything anyone knows about economics, politics and flatulence.
Among other things, she prescribes “a massive transformation of our society,” which would require upgrading or replacing every house and building in the United States “for state of the art energy efficiency,” a 10-year plan to ban nuclear energy and other fossil fuels, eliminating air travel, crossing rivers and oceans with high-speed rail to everywhere else, making sure that all new jobs are “union jobs” and to abandon technology as a way to eliminate excessive carbon in the atmosphere. Everyone, even those who don’t have a job and don’t want one, would get a government check.
Perhaps most ambitious of all, the Green New Deal would resolve, once and for all, the problem that has vexed milkmaids for centuries, ill-mannered cows that fart any time they feel like it, sending methane gas into the atmosphere and entertaining nobody but envious little boys.
She concedes that she doesn’t have the foggiest idea of what such a scheme would cost, but just repairing, upgrading or replacing every building in the 50 states (territories presumably would come later) “would cost $4.6 trillion at minimum.” That’s probably more than his divorce will cost Jeff Bezos, who unlike Congress can just add another nickel to the price of a newsstand copy of The Washington Post.
